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The Care and Maintenance of Pets

fandom Bleach
characters Zaraki, Yachiru
for afuna


The first time Yachiru brings a boy home, Zaraki barely glances at him before reminding her that Unohana had forbidden Yachiru to keep pets after Pochi Incarnation Seventeen had crawled into the Fourth Division headquarters missing his hair and half of his left ear.

Yachiru pouts, and declares that this is Shinoda aka Shin-chan and not Pochi Incarnation Anything, and that Ken-chan has to be nice or Yachiru won’t speak to him until he is. Or until next week, whichever comes first.

And Zaraki takes a second look at Shinoda aka Shin-chan, a much longer look, and when he thinks he can detect the smell of urine he turns back to Yachiru and says no, this one won’t do.

Yachiru pouts again, but then she can also smell the fear oozing from Shinoda aka Shin-chan like BO, and that just isn’t very attractive, so she shrugs and throws him out the window. She bounces over to Zaraki’s desk, too big to sit on his shoulder now but just the right size to perch on the arm of his chair, and she talks to him for the rest of the afternoon about all the guys she beat up on for her morning exercise.

Several weeks later, Yachiru brings another boy home, though this one is less like a boy and more like a very old man, complete with scruffy beard and laughter lines. Zaraki stares silently at Kyouraku Shunsui, who stares back with a benign smile, and then they’re racing around Seireitei, Zaraki with his zanpakuto drawn and slashing wildly after Shunsui, who’s laughing as he runs away because it’s all fun and games until somebody loses an arm.

And as he explains later to Ukitake, under whose bed he hides for the rest of the evening, all he did was offer to buy Yachiru an ice-cream, and maybe ask her what colour her panties are today. (Pink, like every other day.)

The third time that Yachiru brings a boy home, he really is a boy, or rather a young man. He has an almost insolent smirk on his face despite the menacing aura that Zaraki is directing solely at him, and he even dares to turn his back on Zaraki to ask Yachiru why he had to come all the way here since they already know each other.

Yachiru whispers very audibly that Yumichika had told her that she had to introduce to her father any boys that she wanted to take her places and buy her things, and she wants Toshi-chan to take her places and buy her things so here they are.

Hitsugaya Toshirou aka Toshi-chan sighs, then turns back to Zaraki, who’s still sending strong vibes of DIE DIE DIE in his direction, and he introduces himself as if for the first time and says all of the proper things like asking for guidance. He even uses -san, which stings his pride a little but Yachiru beams at him and then it’s sort of okay.

For some reason Zaraki really doesn’t like the way Yachiru is smiling at Hitsugaya, the way she usually only smiles at him. But as she drags the boy out the door, chattering excitedly about melon bread shaped like dinosaurs, Zaraki thinks that it might not be such a bad thing for Yachiru to play with Hitsugaya. At least the Tenth Division captain isn’t as likely to break as all of her previous pets, and he doesn’t smell like urine, which is always a plus.


.fin


A/N: So Bleach makes the 17th fandom into which I have now ventured, and I can't quite shake the feeling that this is the one that's going to SEND ME TO HELL.

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Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
kaiserkuchen
Mar. 19th, 2006 10:43 am (UTC)
I am torn between going MWA HA HA or HEE HEE HEEE at this fic~ ♥
And! it is 10th Division fic which shows your impeccable taste in characters :3 Welcome to the Bleach siiiiide yaay~~

Toshi-chan! *snerk*
reality_is
Mar. 19th, 2006 02:43 pm (UTC)
Is this 10th Division fic or 11th Division fic? (Or both, I s'pose one could argue?) But yes, impeccable taste. *preens*

Sankyuu. =D
kaiserkuchen
Mar. 19th, 2006 02:50 pm (UTC)
:3 So how do you take your Bleach- manga or anime form?

...and since I am currently link-hopping j-fanart sites for fun, I feel obligated to share with you this ..beautiful piece of art I got from ...umm the site I was at an hour a go? shit i need to keep track of these things better:Image hosting by Photobucket
reality_is
Mar. 19th, 2006 02:57 pm (UTC)
...Er. I. Uh. Have no words? Um.

Um.

(Manga. I tend to OMG HATE most anime made from manga.)
kaiserkuchen
Mar. 19th, 2006 03:01 pm (UTC)
Ain't he a beaut' XDD (the braids really make the look IMHO)

Same here, same here- especially for stuff like Naruto and Bleach when the art is so pretty anyways, plus you have an emotional investment of sorts w the charas- and then you see a favorite moment shoddily animated and.. that just ain't nice yanno?
(like seeing the openings and endings though, first of all to hear the music and cuz sometimes the sequences are quite stylish- Bleach 1st opening for example ♥)
reality_is
Mar. 19th, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC)
(OMG your icon is giving me spasms.)

Naruto is at about the highest level of bastardisation that I can take; the art is pretty much the same and the seiyuu are brilliant, which I think makes up for the other flaws a bit. The Bleach anime, otoh, I found absolutely intolerable. I had to stop after two episodes because it was just so BLARGH. (Let's assume that BLARGH is actually a word.)
kaiserkuchen
Mar. 20th, 2006 02:45 pm (UTC)
(then it has fufilled it's grand purpose then, mwahaha :3)

Hrm yes, the first few eps of Bleach were sucktacular(I say that BLARGH is indeed a valid word, as is sucktacular- it's just taking the Oxford dictionary a while to update its list of modern terms really).
Shall attempt to catch one of the subbed Ishida-centric eps though, due to my rampant Quincy-love and also because I quite like his seiyuu(Noriaki Sugiyama- same as Sasuke ne?)...

Has the Naruto anime caught up with the manga yet? Timeskip and all?
reality_is
Mar. 20th, 2006 04:51 pm (UTC)
Sucktacular is a good word. I shall try to use it in a sentence today.

And I have no idea about Naruto, because I'm not watching it. XD I just used to, and thought it was alright. Sort of.
chaosraven
Mar. 20th, 2006 08:04 am (UTC)
Ahahahahaha, I love the 11th squad. &heart;x1000000
reality_is
Mar. 20th, 2006 05:31 pm (UTC)
I love them too. XD
afuna
Mar. 26th, 2006 02:20 pm (UTC)
Eeh! I know it's super-super-late but yes I love this and I love you.

I'm still driving myself crazy trying to remember who Shinoda is :) But I love the way you described Shunsui (complete with scruffy beard and laughter lines.)

Hitsugaya! <3 Love the way you ended with Hitsugaya. I'm not sure I can think of who else would be able to handle it. Ikkaku? Peacock guy? But those don't count -- do they? -- because they're already in the Eleventh Division.

I don't know why, but I feel relaxed every time I read this. It feels idyllic, somehow.

Also, I am falling ever more in love with Yachiru and Zaraki.

(See new luffles icon?)
reality_is
Mar. 26th, 2006 02:59 pm (UTC)
Oh. Um, Shinoda aka Shin-chan is an OC? (I'm sorry. ;_;)

It would be vaguely incestuous, what with Yumi being Yachiru's mother and Ikkaku being her gay uncle? (And yet I rather like IkkaYumi ahahaha er.)

Idyllic isn't exactly what I was aiming for, but as long as you like. ♥

(Ahahaha yes.)
afuna
Mar. 27th, 2006 01:31 am (UTC)
Oh. Okay. That would explain why I couldn't figure out who Shinoda was even though I racked my brains trying to figure out who he was, and I was so proud of myself too because I knew who Shunsui and Hitsugaya were :(

Who is Yumi? *hides ._.* And how do they know who Yachiru's mom is? I thought that she'd been abandoned which is how Zaraki met her? And Ikkaku is her uncle? For real? How did I miss that? ;_;

It's not precisely idyllic at least not in the sense of sheep and pastoral scenes and shepherds playing pipes, but it's, well, when we first see Soul Society, it's in chaos, and everything's changing and going wrong, and this just feels so not-like-that. (<-- vocab ;_;)
reality_is
Mar. 27th, 2006 01:54 am (UTC)
(Argh you're using the icon I sent you rather than the finished product, aren't you? O_<)

Yumi is Ayasekawa Yumichika, aka "peacock guy". And therefore not Yachiru's biological mother, being a man. And no, Ikkaku is not really her gay uncle. I GIVE UP ON YOU OMGLIEKWOT.

Um. Okay then. =D?
afuna
Mar. 28th, 2006 04:54 pm (UTC)
(Um. Um. Not anymore. No.

I swear I kept an eye out for you to post that. Strange that I missed it O_o)

Oh. Oh. OH. For the life of me, I still can't remember his name without your prompting me. I thought for some reason that there was something that had come out in the latest chapters about that, even though it wouldn't make sense because Bleach does not seem like the type of anime to focus on things like Yachiru's mom/uncle(gay or otherwise) I GIVE UP ON ME TOO *DESPAIR*
reality_is
Mar. 28th, 2006 05:21 pm (UTC)
I think I'm going to make you a flow chart. Or something.
afuna
Mar. 30th, 2006 08:47 am (UTC)
I think that Bleach is beyond anyone's powers to flowchart, based solely on number of characters.
reality_is
Mar. 30th, 2006 10:59 am (UTC)
Well, I was going to cheat and make a chart that doesn't flow. But. Er.

=D?
afuna
Mar. 30th, 2006 12:32 pm (UTC)
A chart that doesn't flow! Even better! (I don't know why it would be even better, but it just is)
winnett
Nov. 28th, 2007 01:32 am (UTC)
This was so very, very cute! I found it via a rec list and I can't wait to read more of your fic that has dragged you down into hell. Lovely writing and fun story.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )